The Wholesome Woman (Person)

Lately, I’ve been asking myself a series of questions.

Why have I been on a thread of asking myself questions? Lol

Many things just don’t sit right with me anymore. Especially that mundane life I used to be about — the barest minimum life, I call it the comfort zone life — people say it’s the most dangerous position to be in.

Taking it from someone who has been there and done that, it sure seems cozy, but it’s scalding hot coal in its true form.

Life is a journey of discoveries

I’m beginning to understand this phrase first-hand. Everything I’ve experienced over the years — the pressure, the stretching, the highs and the lows —especially in the past year, is adding up.

Just like in the book I’m currently reading (Atomic Habits). The author, James Clear writes about the theory of the compounding effect, how every change we make, regardless of how tiny they may seem, accumulates over time into a massive result.

It’s just like the way earthquakes happen, they don’t just occur in one day, it’s as a result of the compounding effect of many years — the consistent slow friction of the tectonic plates lead to these massive earthquakes.

I don’t think that life just happens to people

Well, maybe two out of a million people enjoy the sweet life without working for it.

Maybe they meet a billionaire on social media that fancies them and they get to live their dream life without lifting a finger, this usually happens.

However, don’t be fooled. These things don’t come to everyone.

Besides, success and wholesomeness aren’t about your net worth alone, it’s about the value you have as a person — your character, ideologies, how you respond to life situations, and the likes.

These things don’t just jump on you as a person, you have to be deliberate about seeing yourself evolve.

Trust me, these things aren’t easy. That’s the reason for my current read. No one has a manual to life, we’re just cracking the codes little by little, and showing up every day, with the hopes that we will get the result we hope for... One day.

The wholesome woman?

Back to the top.

I have honestly been asking myself questions on how I can be a wholesome woman.

James Clear, in his book, says something profound that I will fist in my left palm for the rest of my life.

On the subject of goal-setting, he says that the essence of goals is to attain a result over a period of time.

But what happens after you achieve that goal?

Do you relapse or set a higher goal to outweigh the goal you set previously?

Let’s say you set a higher goal…

Now, what this does is that it keeps you chasing after the bag. That bag that’s twice as fast as you are — you can never catch it that way, lol.

Goals unconsciously tell our minds that once we attain something, we’ll be happy. It robs us of the joy of the process.

Once I lose some weight, I’ll be happy

How about after you lose that weight?

Once I get married to the man of my dreams, I’ll be happy

Okay, how about after you get that man of your dreams?

Once I have a child, I will be happy

This cycle of searching for happiness and fulfilment never comes, because we’re humans, there’s no such thing as satisfaction.

Lately, I have come to understand that instead of setting goals to achieve your dream life, you have to live out that dream life like a process, not a series of goals that you set for yourself.

That way, you get to enjoy the journey of becoming. It’s not several bus stops, it’s a marathon — it’s life.

What does being wholesome even mean?

The first thing that pops into my mind at the thought of “wholesomeness” is “depth”.

I’m not sure why.

I was reading an article here on Medium, and every line was just speaking to me. I would have tagged the writer here, but I don’t remember her name, sadly.

I’m not sure if it’s about the content, but the lines and choice of words were overly poetic, they were literally sending me.

I loved every bit of that article. It resonated with me deeply… almost wholesomely.

Although I cannot completely place my hands as to how or why “depth” immediately comes to mind when I think “wholesome”, however, I know that it keeps ringing in my heart for a purpose.

One who is vast in her affairs and isn’t scared to take on the world.

One who acknowledges that life isn’t void of struggles sometimes, but handles every strife-full moment with the right dose of grace and wisdom.

One who has everything sitting balanced on her plate, with no food or seasoning overpowering the other.

I don’t want to proceed to describe a perfect woman, but basically, the perfect woman. Lol

Remember, it’s not about setting goals, it’s about living the life that you want for yourself and enjoying the process.

I may not be a perfect woman at the end of the day in the sense of that word. However, I know the woman I want to become, and bit by bit, every day, I consciously take a one percent step into becoming that woman.

Living that life and enjoying every step of the way.

It may or may not be that simple, lol.

I would like to keep writing, but it’s currently 5am, and I haven’t had any sleep yet.

Wholesomeness isn’t something that you stumble upon — it’s a result of compounding that has happened over time.

Give yourself the grace to journey, and enjoy every step of it.

Until I write to you again,

Bye for now.