I love love, and I’m not going to deny it

I have never really fancied people being in multiple relationships before finally meeting the one. It’s like testing waters; that will forever be a red-flag for me.

I have been wanting to write a love story, but for a while now, it hasn’t been coming.

Could it be because I haven’t categorically been in love before?

Those butterflies in the belly, the blood rush that paints the cheeks red, the giddy feeling of excitement from the deepest pit of the heart — are all foreign to me.

I may not know what love is

The closest thing to romantic love I have experienced is from books and movies. I terribly loved Ifemelu and Obinze’s love story (but the Christian in me didn’t like the turn they decided to take in the end).

How long would it take for me to fall deeply for another human being? Where will I find that one person who will love me wholly for who I am, who will study my love language and actively deduce ways to please me from what he learned?

When will I begin to engage in midnight calls? Those ones that will last for at least 4 hours and end with us both sleeping off and listening to our silent snores?

When will I be told “I love you”, and then respond with “I love you too”?

When will I go on romantic dates to fancy restaurants and smile back at the female waiter who winked at me for bagging a handsome gentleman as a date?

When will I say yes, when he goes on one knee to pop the question?

Love is a beautiful thing, I can categorically tell you.

For some, it may be short-lived, and for others, it may last a lifetime.

One constant thing though is the experience of love; and no matter how much of a hard guy you are, there’s something in you that longs for it. It’s like food to your soul.

Love is worth waiting for inasmuch as it is worth fighting for (it is also worth being picky for).

I have never fancied people being in multiple relationships before finally meeting the one. It’s like testing waters; that will forever be a major red flag for me.

Why is there a continuous pattern of you liking someone enough to be in a relationship, and then ending things because you can no longer deal? What security will you give in marriage? How am I sure you will not opt for a divorce when you can’t deal anymore?

It saddens my heart when I see people end relationships. One that deeply hurt me recently is the separation of a celebrity couple I follow on Instagram. I was just getting to love their love story. Maybe if they knew, they wouldn’t have split.

What is love if it’s not worth fighting for?

Was it even love in the first place if you found it easy to opt-out of a 14year matrimony?

The kids are important, yes. But let’s put them aside first. How about the love shared between you both, that deep emotional longing for your partner, how did it evaporate into thin air?

Did it just happen? Did you start to fancy someone else? What happened? How come?

The Christian in me is speaking again, lol. I think that for every romantic relationship, we should look at God as our model.

It is illogical for me to break your heart steadily and for you to still love me, yeah? But that’s what God does on a daily, even after sacrificing His son.

Do you think that if God decided to love you based on his emotions, He would have stayed in His love for you?

If you say yes, you must be a comedian. Invite me to your comedy concert, I’ll pay to attend.

Love is deeper than emotions, gifts, intimate hugs and eye locks.

It is a decision to choose someone over and over, despite their faults. If you don’t get this, I’m sorry.

I think it’s unfair to say you love someone, and then give up on them after 3 months of being in a relationship with them. It wasn’t love to start with.

Is that a pattern for you?

Let’s go back to the beginning…

Love is patient

… and that’s on period

From singlehood, to the moment you bag that handsome Bobo, patience is a virtue.

Single and searching?

You’ve still got to be patient, so you don’t bag someone that is not worthy of your love. There are so many fishes in the sea, but you’ll have a running stomach if you eat some of breed of fishes in that same sea.

Some may look promising. They may say the right words, and even scatter your head with the facade of perfection they may have created, but are you patient enough to uncover whether they will turn your belly upside down if you decide to give your heart to them?

In a relationship?

You have to be patient still. At this point, with all I’ve said, I assume you’re in the right relationship. So, let’s be patient. Let’s tolerate. Quitting shouldn’t be on your mind at all.

That is what scares me about dating too many people before marriage, the mentality of quitting. You think it’s not there, but it is in your subconscious, like a sleeping lion.

True love is a gift, I oft tell my friends. When you find one, guard and cherish it, because it’s not like the sun that shows its face every morning. It may just come to you once, or twice, depending on the grace you carry, lol.

Please note: the events in this story are not directly linked to the writer.

Thank you for reading!

Until next time

Byee